HOW TO BE AWESOME! (For People Without Kids)

Wake up and don't give a fuck what time it is, then yell I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!! If that didn't wash off the shit stains from your dog pooping on your chest last night then I don't know what will. No, seriously, didn't that make you feel better? Sure made me feel better even though even one in the coffee shop is staring at me for a good five seconds. I encouraged them to say it but bleh who needs them. Okay get up, take a bath if you normally take shower and vice versa if you normally take a bath. Make the water almost unbearably hot, soak it in, its your day off. Then put on way too much cologne/perfume, so much to the point where you smell like a French Whore or a homeless guy who spends his spare change on moonshine. No offense French Whores if you can read English and you homeless guys, lol, your homeless, you don't have a computer sphhhhh. Okay, I am rambling, that's what 4 large mochas will do for you!!!!!!!!!!! O yeah, to be AWESOME drink a lot of coffee, you will be hyped up. I mean, really ready to not give a fuck. You will be so prepared for that and awesomeness. Then go find Waldo because that fucker is always hiding in a crowd, move through the crowd like your the protagonist of Assassin's Creed.

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[Editor's note: I'm not adding a video to this...]

To Be Continued.... Dunh Duh DUNNNNNNN!!!!! (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE LATE RYAN DUNN, LOVE YOU BRO) O YEAH, USE ALL CAPS IF YOUR TYPING SOMETHING BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOUR BEING LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS. IF WE WERE FACE TO FACE YOUR ONLY RESPONSE WOULD BE, YES DRILL SARGEANT!!!! MAN, THE EXCLAMATIONS LOSE THEIR EFFECT I'M YELLING SO LOUD. I'M GONNA HIDE A LEMON-PINEAPPLE TREASURE INSIDE OF LIAM NEESON, I DARE YOU TO TAKE THAT FROM HIM BITCH/BASTARD!!!!

Posted in: coffee and workouts, idgaf, machine gun kitty